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Absence.

Six months.

It’s been a little over six months since my last blog post. I’m sitting in front of my computer a little baffled by that fact. I knew I hadn’t posted anything I’ve written in a while, but six months…

I feel like I need to play catch-up.

What has happened in the past six months? Oh you know, just a few things. I started dating the love of my life. We got engaged. I applied and was accepted into a graduate program. I met my future in-laws. I’ve been planning a wedding…. I seem to meet myself coming and going.

I can make all kinds of excuses about why I haven’t posted. Let me tell you, wedding planning takes up a lot more time than I ever thought possible. When I first interviewed for my graduate program, I talked to them about possibly starting this month rather than waiting until July. I can tell you that I am beyond glad that I have down time this next semester. I would be one cranky, crazy person had that panned out the way I had planned.

I’ve been writing. I’ve just been selfish with my words. I’ve been keeping them to myself instead of putting them out into the world, as I should. I know I’ve been called to share a message. I know that is the purpose of this blog. Sometimes, like everyone, I lose my focus and get sidetracked. For that I must ask for forgiveness.

Anyways, let’s move on to the real purpose of this post: a lesson the Lord placed on my heart a couple of weeks ago.

When I met William, my life kind of changed. I know people in love say that all the time. I was one of the people who would roll my eyes and think “yeah, right” any time I heard someone say that.

He changed my life, and that’s the truth.

It happened in all the stereotypical ways. I saw colors a little brighter. Songs were a little sweeter. I went from being completely jaded and calling myself a “realist” to a complete sap. Romantic things that used to make me gag and roll my eyes now make me into a ball of mush. I went from needing to assert my independence at every turn to wanting to be one with him. I stopped worrying so much about what was best for myself and focused more on what was best for us.

My life also changed in a way I didn’t really expect.

I gained a whole new perspective on Christ’s love for us.

I grew up hearing all the scriptures about the Church being Christ’s bride. I heard all about how He loves. I made the choice to follow after Him based on the sacrifice He made for my life. I thought I understood until I fell in love and chose to continue to love someone who was just as flawed as me.

This lesson was brewing in the back of my mind for a while. It all came to a head about a month ago. Since the beginning of our relationship, there were very few times Will and I had gone more than a day without seeing each other. It was fantastic.  It caused us to grow closer and get to know each other more deeply. However, the last two weeks of the semester were brutal. I barely saw him those two weeks. The only thing that really kept me going was the two week vacation that laid just on the other side of them.

One night, we had about a thirty-minute time period we could see each other. I used a majority of those thirty minutes trying not to cry (though I spent a majority of them actually doing so). As Will was leaving that night, the Lord whispered to me: “You weep for two weeks, I weep for whole lives.”

If we cry about absences from the ones we love, how much more does the Lord cry about being eternally separated from the ones He loves?

Absence from loved ones is, a lot of times, out of our control. What about those who continually choose to be absent from the Father?

We are fortunate to be constantly surrounded by the Lord. We can feel the touch of His presence. We can see His beauty in Creation. We can hear His voice in the stillness of our spirit. He is impossible to ignore. Yet, people choose ignorance on a regular basis.

As this year begins, where is your focus?

Are you being active in pursuing Him and His Will?


Or are you choosing to actively be absent?

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