Dear Future Mother-In-Law,
I have no idea why I'm writing this. I don't know if it's just for myself or if it serves a greater purpose. I'm not sure what the outcome will be. All I know is that I feel like it's necessary.
The truth is, I have no idea who you are. I don't know if we've already met or if that moment is in the future.
I don't know if we will know each other long or if it will seem too fast to you. I don't know if you'll like me right away or if it will take time. I know I can come off abrasive at first. I also have a habit of saying the wrong thing.
I don't know what the further holds. I hope our relationship is good. I've heard some horror stories, and I know what I don't want it to be.
I recognize how difficult it might be for you to see your son with me. You carried him for what seemed like an eternity. You barely slept those first few months. You cared for him when he was sick. You stayed up nights combating fevers and viruses. You spent hours on your knees praying for guidance. You wondered if you were doing everything you could to make him into that man that God wanted him to be.
I do not want to take away from that.
I don't want you to see me as competition.
I don't want to be the one who stole your son away.
No matter what happens, know that I love him. Know that for nearly twenty years, I've been praying for the man that I would call my husband.
I've been praying that our marriage would be something that stood the test of time. In an age where it's easy to give up, I've prayed that we will never succumb to the temptation of saying that we've "fallen out of love."
I've wondered what he'll look like. I've wondered if he'll have an ornery smile that gets him out of trouble.
I've wondered what kind of father he'll be. Will he be kind? Will he be a safe place for them to go? Will they know that he loves them no matter what?
I am sure there are plenty of things we won't agree on. I also know there are some we will.
I know that I am stubborn.
I definitely have my own way of doing things.
I was raised to be strong and independent.
I was taught to depend on myself and no one else.
Know that I am learning how to be gentler. I am learning that being submissive does not mean being a doormat.
Please bear with me. Please encourage the man we both love so much. Tell Him that I am learning and really trying my best. It'll be a new thing for both of us. Please build up our relationship and not tear me down. I know when he comes to you with an issue it'll be easy to take his side. It's only natural for you to fight to the death for him.
When it comes to how we raise our kids, please don't be offended if we do things differently than you. Know that I appreciate your advice and just because I don't take it doesn't mean I think it's invalid.
Allow us to make our mistakes. Encourage us in our journey. Please don't laugh when I say things like "I want to cloth diaper" and "I want them to start out with only wooden toys."
I know I'm young and inexperienced, but please don't write me off.
Also, remember that I wouldn't marry your son unless I wanted a son just like him.
I know you'll be amazing. I hope our relationship is everything that God intended it to be. We will share the love of one of the most important people in both our lives. At the very least we will have that in common. That seems like a good place to start.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom can be no variation, neither shadow that is cast by turning. (James 1:17, ESV)