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Confession.

Source
I haven't felt especially grateful over this past month. 

I suppose that is why I haven't really written anything over the past several weeks. I want to be the person who finds the good in everything, but here lately that hasn't been happening. 


I have allowed myself to be consumed by my circumstances. I have wanted to rise above. I have wanted to see the light in the situation, but I allowed myself to go to a place of defeat.


I have walked around the past few weeks with a fake smile plastered on my face. I've put on an act. I was a little meaner and my humor was a little more pointed. I went through the motions and said all the right things.

I felt like I was finally to the point where I wasn't waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I felt uncomfortable feeling that happy and secure. Then, I felt like life was showing me exactly why I shouldn't.

Yesterday, it all came to a head. After two church services that were exactly what I needed, I was driving home when I heard some words that couldn't have been anything but directly for me.

"I've been hiding/Afraid I've let you down/Inside I doubt/That You still love me/But in Your eyes/There's only grace now."

The truth is that it doesn't matter how I feel. There was a sacrifice made that I can never repay.



Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that, who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. (Romans 8:34)


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