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Showing posts from November, 2014

Confession.

I haven't felt especially grateful over this past month. 

I suppose that is why I haven't really written anything over the past several weeks. I want to be the person who finds the good in everything, but here lately that hasn't been happening. 

I have allowed myself to be consumed by my circumstances. I have wanted to rise above. I have wanted to see the light in the situation, but I allowed myself to go to a place of defeat.

I have walked around the past few weeks with a fake smile plastered on my face. I've put on an act. I was a little meaner and my humor was a little more pointed. I went through the motions and said all the right things.

I felt like I was finally to the point where I wasn't waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I felt uncomfortable feeling that happy and secure. Then, I felt like life was showing me exactly why I shouldn't.

Yesterday, it all came to a head. After two church services that were exactly what I needed, I was driving home w…

Biological.

An open letter to the one who could have had it all but chose differently.I have sat down to write this more times than I can count. It is like I have had the words swirling around inside my soul, and now it is time for them to find their way out.
There are so many things I wish I could say. There are things I want to be careful about; those things I know could be taken the wrong way. I do not want to seem like I am blaming you for everything. That is not my intention. I want you to know exactly the influence you have had over my life.
You have had a huge influence no matter how I much I do not want to admit it.
I like to make you out like this bad guy. I put you in this box of being a terrible person because it is easier for me to then justify the bad things you have done. If you are consumed by darkness, how can you make good decisions?
Truthfully, I do not think you are consumed by darkness. I think you run from light because it is easier.
It is easier to blame the world than to take re…