A little girl stands in front of a mirror.
She’s stood in front of the mirror thousands of times before. This time something was different. She was different.
Today at school instead of someone telling her how pretty her eyes were like people normally did, a “friend” pointed out how one of them wandered while the other stood still. The little girl tried to play it off like a joke. She tried to laugh with them, but something changed inside of her. She would never be the same.
She was a little girl with a lazy eye who was told she looks just like her father all of the time. How could she ever be beautiful?
As she got older, the insecurity grew deeper. She started to find flaws in other people in order to make herself feel better. She never wanted to hurt someone by mentioning the flaws, but secretly she held onto them. She needed to judge in order to combat being judged herself.
She noticed every spot on everyone’s face, every birthmark, every big nose, big ear.
She could come up with something negative about every person she met.
Like I said before, she never intended to use this information to harm anybody. She just needed it to feel better, to feel normal.
One day, she realized this was not normal at all.
The average person did not go around picking apart the people they love or the people they serve. They saw the person and didn’t care about the rest.
What could she do? How could she help people if all she saw were the flaws?
She asked the Lord to break her.
To help her see people the way He saw them. To see Him when she looked at the people around her.
By now, you’ve probably figured out that the girl is me.
The Lord dramatically changed something in me. I no longer see the flaws of those around me.
What do I see?
It depends on the person really.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
Think about this for a minute.
God created us in His own image.
God created us.
As a “creative” person, it would kill me if someone told me even once that something I made specifically for them was ugly. I don't know how I'd handle it if it were everyday.
When you tear yourself down, it’s like telling God what He made for you isn’t good enough.
A couple of weeks ago, I felt in my spirit that there was more that needed to be done. I was well on my way when it came to my views of other people, but what about how I viewed myself?
I felt like the Lord was asking me, “You’ve asked me to break you to see other people how I see them. When is it going to be your turn? When are you going to see yourself like I see you?”
That was it. I was done.
I knew the next couple of weeks were going to be doozies.
And they were.
I don’t know what the next stage of this journey is. I do know retraining thoughts is a process.
I also know that when I look in the mirror, I look different.
I no longer see that insecure five-year-old little girl, but the image of the One who created me.