Yesterday was my birthday, and this is pretty much how I felt the entire day. I had such a good day. It was so relaxing even though it was busy. Overall, I just had a great day.
It started with a blueberry waffle and ended with Easter play practice. Because photography is one of my favorite things, here is my day in photos.
I really could not have asked for a better day.
On my birthday, it is really hard for me not to look back and see the changes that have happened in the last year. I cannot believe how many things have changed and how much I have grown both just as a person and in my walk with The Lord.
It is also really hard not to think about where I thought I would be by this time in my life.
For a long time, I lived in such a dark place that I couldn't see past the moment that I was in. A lot of what kept me going was thinking about the future. I would dream about things and put them in a timeline that was next to impossible. I truly didn't think that I was going to make it to this point so why not have unrealistic expectations?
The problem is now that I am at that point, I catch myself hiding in a room that holds feelings of failure and inadequacy.
I know the path I planned was completely unrealistic. I recognize that I have had circumstances come into my life (some by my own choice and some not) that derailed that plan completely.
The biggest, most difficult realization: this was my plan, not God's.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)
But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9 ESV)
My plan may have been completely unrealistic. It may have been silly and ridiculous. It may have been well thought out and exactly what I thought I wanted.
It was nothing compared to what God has in store for me.
I still have plans for the future, but now I weigh them against how I feel the Lord is directing me. My focus is no longer on my will, but His perfect will. I want to be, do, and have everything that He wants for me.
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. (Psalm 27:4 ESV)